The following suggestions may seem like they come from ‘Dating for Dummies.’ But you would be surprised how many people don’t seem to know the basics. Recently, I had an online acquaintance ask me for advice on what to do when he meets his online crush for the first time. I hope this helps him…and you!
Ask Questions and Listen to Their Answers
Don’t get overly personal in the beginning. Keep it light. Ask questions about their job or passions. Listen to what they say and find a way to relate. Show that you are paying attention by asking follow-up questions about their answers.
Say Their Name
Numerous studies have shown that everyone’s favorite word to hear is their name. Don’t sound like a crazy person and go inserting your date’s name into every sentence. Just use it from time to time. It will signal to them that you are engaged in the conversation and that you are interested in getting to know them.
Don’t Talk About Your Exes
Even if you are just coming off of a difficult break-up, avoid any conversation about your last significant other. Save that talk for your good friends. Nobody wants to go out for a good time with someone new, just to end up having to grit their teeth through stories of lost loves. If all goes well, there will be plenty of time to hash that out later.
Don’t Let Your Eyes Wander
You are there to give your attention to your date. Check your wandering eyes at the door. If you have a problem doing that, don’t take your date somewhere that you will have trouble concentrating your full attention on the person you are with. Otherwise, there’s a good chance that while you’re looking elsewhere, your date will simply get up and leave.
Be Honest
We all like to put our best foot forward. But try not to embellish. Keep it real and keep it true. If you’re serious about exploring the possibilities of a relationship with your date, it’s all going to come out eventually. Save yourself some embarrassment and awkwardness later. Tell the truth from the beginning.
Avoid Talk of the Future
Both men and women can be skittish when someone talks about the “future” too quickly. Live in the here and now and enjoy the present time with your date. Don’t scare them off too soon by “we-ing” them. Try not to think beyond the next possible date with them.
Lay Off the Sarcasm
Contrary to what you might read elsewhere, most people do not enjoy being teased or being made the butt of jokes, especially by someone they don’t know well. This is not your kid sister or your goofy little cousin. Avoid joking at someone else’s expense until you have a stronger relationship and you know it’s okay. You don’t want to end up with a drink in your face!
Hopefully these seven tips will save you from more than a first date disaster. Hopefully they will save you from first dates in general. By using these seven tips you will probably nail it on the first, first date.
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